


Finding Balance:Trials of the Republic

by K_Schweitz



Series: Ways of the Force [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic (Video Game), Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Always a girl Obi-Wan, BAMF Obi-Wan Kenobi, Carbonite, Dark Obi-Wan Kenobi, Dealing With Loss, Emperor's wrath - Freeform, Fake It Till You Make It, Family Dynamics, Family Relationships - Freeform, Female Obi-Wan Kenobi, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Ghost(s), Force Visions, Gray Force User(s), Mild Hurt/Comfort, Obi-Wan Needs a Hug, Parent-Child Relationship, Possessive Anakin Skywalker, Possessive Behavior, Protective Obi-Wan Kenobi, Secrets, Sith Obi-Wan Kenobi, Strained Relationships, Teacher-Student Relationship, The Dark Side of the Force, Time Travel, Valkorior's other child, War, acting the part, ish, light side of the force
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-10-03 21:33:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17291846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/K_Schweitz/pseuds/K_Schweitz
Summary: Obi-Wan Kenobi, the name fit her for the moment, it fit the jedi persona she worked hard to maintain. However, it was all just a persona.She slept in carbonite for thousands of years and when she was released, the galaxy had changed. The force was at work to protect her, and Medria Nathem found herself a child again in Jidai custody. She wasn't a fool though, she knew what she had to do to survive. Stay unnoticed, build her powerbase, search for her people.All she had to do was keep playing the part of Obi-Wan Kenobi, the Jedi.All chapters are under editing, chapter 4 in progress





	1. Phantom

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s note: Time will first show BBY, which is Before the Battle of Yavin. As at the time they did not know that the Battle of Yavin would be a thing. The time given after in quotations will by either BTC or ATC, standing for Before Treaty of Coruscant, or After Treaty of Coruscant, respectively.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Perhaps it was something in Tatooine's twin suns, it made people reckless, dangerous. Obi-Wan Kenobi has a deep history with the place, all the more reason for her to dislike the dust bowl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s note: Time will first show BBY, which is Before Battle of Yavin. As at the time they did not know that the Battle of Yavin would be a thing. The time given after in quotations will by either BTC or ATC, standing for Before Treaty of Coruscant, or After Treaty of Coruscant, respectively.
> 
> Updated: January 22, 2019

# Chapter 1: Phantom

> “But as long as you remember what you have seen, then nothing is gone. As long as you remember, it is part of this story we have together.”  
>  \- Leslie Marmon Silko, Ceremony

**Mos Espa, Tatooine: 32 BBY (3621 ATC)**

The door to the mechanical room opened with a soft hiss as Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn peeked his head in.

"Obi-Wan?" He called into the room as he searched for his wayward apprentice after noticing when they landed she had disappeared. He felt her warm presence echo through their bond in response just as her muffled voice called out over the humming of the generators and engines. A shot of annoyance and pain shot through their bond followed immediately by a clanging sound, curious he stepped into the room searching for her.

The first sign of her was the crumpled brown cloak she left on the floor, followed shortly by the sight of her long legs sticking out from under the hyperdrive with tools scattered around the open toolbox next to her. Slowly she pulled herself out and stared up at him with storm-gray eyes peeking out from a face covered in grease and dirt with a visible red mark on her forehead. Qui-Gon bit back a laugh as he gingerly helped her to her feet, taking care to not actually touch her skin as she once more rubbed her grease covered hand across her forehead. Before he could open a mouth to crack a joke, she sent him a warning look as annoyance flooded their bond.

"How long have you been gone? You're an absolute mess," he asked as she unbuckled her belt using her tabard to scrub at her face and hands. "I can't leave you alone for a minute." It was said softly, kindly, but Obi-Wan stiffened, even as her master took her tabard from her hands and started to wipe at her face for her.  
"The generator is gone, we'll need a new one," she started "It also wouldn't be a bad idea to get some new wiring for the shields, they won't last otherwise. I can install all of it easily enough." She reported calmly, even though she felt her dignity slowly draining.

"That'll complicate things" he mused, rubbing at a particularly stained part of her cheek, slowly turning it red. She grunted in agreement, casting a reproachful look to the hyperdrive.  
"Naturally, when have things ever gone as planned."

"Obi-Wan" the hand that held the cloth dropped as he tightened a grip on her shoulder. "Be wary... I sense a disturbance in the Force."

"I felt it also," she had told him numerous times throughout their mission, but he didn't listen then. Qui-Gon twirled Obi-Wan's long braid around his finger, running his thumb over her accomplishment beads before tugging at it softly.

"Don't let them send any transmissions," he ordered softly. She sighed internally; she wasn't a youngling, she knew the basics.

"Yes, master." A smile appeared on her lips as she glanced to the door. "Is the Gungan going with you?" the look on his face was worth the question, especially with the exasperation that was sent through the bond. Since meeting the Gungan, her master was at his wit's end.

"Yes, unfortunately. He's not too pleased with that decision." However, from his face, she could see he was just as displeased as the Gungan.

"In some cultures that's considered an honor, you should count yourself lucky." She teased him lightly, earning a small tug on her braid before looking to the door serious. "In all honesty though, it's Tatooine, I don't think anyone is pleased with having to go outside."

"Just because you don't like the heat-"

"It's the sand, Master. Although the dry heat is not something I am a fan of, I can stand the temperatures. You'd best go before the Gungan tries to run away without you. May the Force be with you."

He smiled and stepping away towards the door. "And with you, Padawan." He pulled on his poncho one last time as he disappeared around the corner, leaving his padawan alone in the room with only the humming of the engines and various motors.

…

The smile that had graced her face dropped instantaneously as she sighed heavily, wiping her hands on her pants as she bent to collect the discarded tabards from the floor. The Force danced around her, picking up the tools cleaning up the oil spills. Frivolous use of it, but it was hers to command, as it had always been, and such a task of cleaning up would have only been an annoyance to add to her long day.

At one point she would have considered the engine room of a ship to be a sanctuary, where secrets were shared and stories were told, it now was only a cold reminder that the past was gone. Now, it was her least favorite place to be, but her years of experience gave her a higher level of knowledge that proved useful. With nothing left for her, she strode towards the exit, scooping her robe up from the floor as she passed.

The crew milled about the crew quarters, all unsure what to do next or how to help. Leadership, she decided, was lacking wholly in the ship, though the captain tried, his hands were tied by the one he served. Obi-Wan moved to the storage room where the boarding ramp remained open. The burning heat wafted into the ship with such relentlessness that the padawan sighed heavily.

Sand, she was used to. Heat, she was used to. It was the cruel combination of the two on the Force-forsaken planet that drove her mad. She leaned against the hull, looking out to the horizon as the heat of the sand created waves in the air. She hummed contemplating, perhaps, just perhaps-  
"Jedi Kenobi" the voice of Captain Panaka jolted her from her thoughts. She jumped slightly, surprised to be caught unawares before turning to face the older man.

"Yes, Captain?"

"You appeared lost in thought..." he trailed off glancing out the boarding ramp. The Padawan nodded with a soft smile.

"Yes, my apologies" she paused. "I'm not a fan of Tatooine, I wish we were elsewhere. Perhaps it's the suns. It does something to the people here makes them reckless, dangerous."

"You've been here before?" He looked out to the horizon with her.

"Once, very long ago. I didn't come here though, I was at Mos Ila, a town, quite a ways away from here." They stood silent, watching the sand shift under the breeze.

"I hear you can go blind staring at the sand too long, let's go inside and cool off." The captain turned to her, interrupting the momentary peace. Reluctantly Obi-Wan nodded, following him inside as the ram shut.

_______LINE_______

 _"Yes, yes, I'm sure"_ the voice of Jedi Kenobi filtered up the ramp to the relief of Captain Panaka. She had been acting strangely since Master Jinn departed and after news of the sandstorm the crew came to him, voicing concerns that the Jedi had ventured outside the ship in a mood, despite their warnings. The last thing he wanted to do was explain to the stoic Jedi master why his apprentice died in a sandstorm because no one stopped her from wondering outside in the middle of it, her voice, however, was a relief. "That's why I'm warning you now and not in a few weeks." her voice continued sounding increasingly annoyed as her accent thickened. At first, he would have said she had a core accent, but after hearing her speak with her master, and for long periods of time, the more he noticed that is was very different, though still refined and cultured.

Panaka moved forward, hoping to see the young woman with another crew member, or even one of the handmaids, but was surprised when she was alone pacing outside the ship with a comlink held tightly between her fingers. She was massaging her scalp through the thick braided crown she had as her face skewed into a look of irritation pausing in her steps.

"Why do you feel the need to question everything I tell you? I am no youngling, Overseer. Naboo is about to face a crisis, their people will need aid, and we will provide it. It is a simple as that." She stopped as the voice over the com responded. Panaka found himself surprised. She was fighting on behalf of Naboo. "Do not lie to me." He voice snapped, turning cold. "You have plenty of able bodies to get the job done... I am not telling you to deploy everyone, don't you dare go putting words in my mouth. I am, however, ordering you to prepare to send at least half." sending aid. Panaka's chest clenched. Without permission from the Jedi council, or the Senate, the young woman was already making plans to help Naboo. From her method of holding the conversation, she wished not only to keep it private but keep her name out of it. Though he was deeply touched, he would respect that wish of hers.

"Go to the others, see if they are willing to help. And while you're at it, see if the others will petition on behalf of Naboo. I fear the young Queen Amidala will need all the help she can get." She sounded tired, but with her back to the captain, he couldn't see the smile on her face. "Thank you" the whisper carried on the wind like an answered prayer. The weight of finding aid seemed to be lifted from her as her pacing slowed.

"I'm fine, you shouldn't worry so much about me. I'm not a youngling...honestly, you weren't this much of a flittering mother while you oversaw my training why now?" her face had softened and she even smiled gently. The tone she had used was teasing, one of fondness which he had yet to hear her use with anyone, even her own master. "Yes, I'm being careful, you know I have to be... It shouldn't be long now, I hope. I believe that Qui-Gon will be petitioning for me to take my trials soon, in the coming year. It would be nice to have a bit more freedom." She paused long listening carefully to the other person. She turned contemplative, hand rubbing her chin.

"I'm not sure yet, I will, of course, keep you updated with my plans... Take care of yourself, old man. _Galez Qyâsik prievole tu_." Her last words emphasized the already noticeable accent as the unknown words rolled off her tongue with ease. She clicked her comlink off and turned as she slipped it into her robes. Crystal blue eyes met deep brown slowly turning gray as her face hardened.

…

Her fists clenched in her robes, as she worked hard to control her anger. Eavesdropping, the captain eavesdropped on her very private conversation. If she were anywhere else, if her master wasn't so close, she would have punished him, but she held herself back.

"This storm will slow them down." She pointed to the nearing storm, a subtle but clear warning, that her conversation was not to be discussed.

"It looks pretty bad. We'd better seal the ship." He carefully said, watching for her reaction. He understood clearly then, Obi-Wan assumed. She grunted disgruntled at the storm, throwing a dirty look. Sandstorms truly were the worst.

The Captain's comlink chimed, and he quickly answered it. "Yes?... We'll be right there," Worry etched in his forehead as he tucked the comlink away, staring at her. "We've received a transmission."

"Lead the way." She followed him inside, allowing herself the leisure of attempting to brush off the sand from her robes as they entered, the ramp securing. The two of them moved quickly to the throne room.

Obi-Wan admired the elegant throne room, it reminded her of the past, the sleek metal and subtle richness in the clean lines engraved into the walls. Everything was designed to make the young queen stand out, along with the brightness of the handmaids' robes. Obi-Wan slipped onto the bench while the transmission played.

"They've cut off all food supplies until your return." The holo of Governor Bibble fizzed momentarily, most likely due to the storm. "The death toll is catastrophic. We must bow to their wishes, your highness, you must contact me."

It all felt wrong, even as the holo flickered out and Obi-Wan found herself staring at the empty transmitter. Her hand found her chin, even as the fear, concern, and worry echoed restlessly through the Force from the occupants in the room. The Governor was not a fool; he would not send a holo unless under duress.

"Play the last part once more," Obi-Wan ordered, standing from her seat.  
"Wha- you dare torment-" one of the guards spoke up.

"I'm checking something." she turned to the decoy queen. "Please, your highness, I mean no offense, but I need it played once more."

The queen nodded, and the transmission played once again. Instead of listening, she focused on his face and body language. He moved with each phrase as if to emphasize his statement, but his face showed differently. He was tense, beads of sweat gathered at his hairline. And very subtly, almost unnoticeably, his eyes moved, reading from a script. It all enraged her, such an underhanded technique.

"Send no reply." A dozen eyes landed on her. Cold, she was cold. "It's a trick. Send no transmissions of any kind." She turned sharply and left the throne room in silence. She hated it. Cold, unfeeling, devoid of emotions. So Jedi. No emotion, peace, but peace was not what she felt, only rage and anger burning like a fire in her chest. Helpless, it was all helplessness. She had once sworn she would not be helpless again, but there she was, having to wait for her master's orders.

She stormed into the cockpit, which by grace, was empty. It was dark, the viewport obscured by the sandstorm, with only the red electrical lighting illuminating everything. She pulled out her public use comlink and tapped in her master's code. It was a long silent minute before Qui-Gon answered.

"I'm sorry for disturbing you, Master. I hope you've found shelter from this sandstorm." Obi-Wan greeted, trying her best to sound cheerful as she slipped into one of the chairs.

"What happened Obi-Wan?"

"We received a transmission from the Governor of Naboo," Obi-Wan sighed leaning back into the chair and propping her feet up on one of the controls. "The Queen is upset, but absolutely no reply was sent."

"It sounds like bait to establish a connection trace."

"And what if it's true, the people are dying??" the dragon in her chest roared to life begging for blood _'let them find us, let them fight us, let me win'_ it begged, but she pushed it down stifling its sound.

"Either way, we're running out of time. Meditate Padawan, you'll feel better then."  
"Yes, master." Obi-Wan clicked her comlink off and sunk into her chair. Of course they were running out of time, she thought bitterly, she couldn't do what needed to — held back as always. She scowled, fiddling with the comlink before making up her mind.

______LINE______

She knelt in the middle of the room, facing the beds meditating. She pulled at the light and the dark, trying to give room for both. As always, once her breathing settled and the Force grew heavy in the room, it began to feel like the base, with the Grand-Master and Council Member.

Her mind was open to the movement of the Force, hearing it's call as it pulled her into the web. Red and black, a black hole, the Senate building crumbling. Just flashes, of images, rose with feelings of worry, dread, and resentment. Just as quick as they came, they left. 

"Ah, this is indeed an interesting turn of events," a deep, ethereal, and uncomfortably familiar voice spoke through the silence, cutting through the building Force. She refused to open her eyes, pulling more intently at the Force.

"Who would have thought we would end up here on Tatooine, once more. This is where you realized your feelings for him isn't it?" Her eyes snapped open glaring at him as he began to chuckle. Across from her, seated on the sleeping mat, was the Force-ghost of her father, though looking far too pleased with himself. As usual, his hair was combed back, and beard trimmed impeccably. He was dressed more relaxed, forgoing the normal armor he marched around in. "So, you aren't ignoring me. I was beginning to wonder." He stated far too smugly.

"No, of course not." She bit, voice dripping in sarcasm even as she flicked her loose hair over her shoulder. "You make it seemingly impossible to do so."

"Come now, converse with me, child." He leaned forward smiling.

"What do you want me to say? I thought I told you I was finished with you."

"I saved your life, child, I will never leave."

"Saved my life? You turned me into a fucking child, how is that saving my life?" She hissed, pushing her self to her feet.

"What do you think the Jidai would do to you if they found out who you are? I used the last of my abilities to keep you from that fate."

"And instead you handed me to the beast Zildrog himself."

"So dramatic, come now, you've survived this long, it's been what? 20 years since you were handed to them? I am simply an observer now. I hold no judgment towards you."

"Bullshit."

"I know you, child, I know how you think. If you keep everything bottled up who will face your wrath? Unburden yourself to me, and I will advise you the same way I had done all those years ago when you were a youngling." He leaned forward, staring intently at her. Finally, she huffed a sigh and dropped to the ground in front of him, legs crossed like a pretzel. She was tense for a while before crumpling forward, shoulders slouching.

"Qui-Gon has entered into a foolhardy bet on a nine-year-old Force-sensitive." She began.

"Odd. Though, I suppose of the two of you he's always had the luxury of being more reckless."

"A nine-year-old human slave boy, in a pod race." She continued, causing his eyebrows to jump to his hairline. "This ship is the compensation if the child loses the race, not taking into the fact that the boy could die. I had offered to cover the costs on my own, with my sources, I could get the payment in spice for a whole new ship as well as purchase the child and his mother in a day's time. He called my methods shady at best and my contacts disreputable and a stain on my honor as a Jedi." she spat it out like a curse her knuckles turning white as she gripped the fabric of her pants.

"He doesn't trust you." He ventured, but she tightened as the void in her heart grew.

"No, he doesn't. I'm beginning to doubt he ever has."

"You're concerned about this?"

"Naturally, he's accepting the risk of the gamble but not trusting my own skills. When I'm mission head, he takes charge quickly or undermines me. I'm close to the time of my knighting and yet he still has not put any trust in my skills, in me. Krif it, this had been my mission at the beginning." And it had. It had been her job to lead the negotiations with the trade federation, but as soon as she felt the shifting of the Force, the forewarning, he took charge. The only time she got a word in was when she pointed out Tatooine as a place to land, and that was because she knew the planet. She shook her head. "He has an obsession for a prophecy..."

"Oh, now that's interesting, which prophecy?" Her father leaned forward looking very interested.

"The prophecy of the Jedi Chosen One. The one who will destroy the sith and bring balance to the Force."

"Wishful thinking. Everyone has hopes of a savior, the Jedi are no different." He barked a laugh cutting her off.

"The boy's midichlorian count was off the charts," She tried to argue.

"And whos blood did you test it against?"

There was a beat of silence between the two as she stared up at him wide-eyed. " Gah, you're infuriating," she shouted dropping to her back, long hair fanning around her head.

"Naturally, it's a father's job. And yet, I am still right. You're growing powerful, it's natural. Now, tell me, what is your plan?"

She blinked and sat up, a smile playing on her lips. Since she was a child, she always had back up plans, so that she would never be caught unawares. It was a nature of her that while it had lead to his own death, was quite useful, even admirable.

"I arranged for a plan B. One of my people will be here the day of the race and will watch it unfold. Should things go awry, he will approach the host of the race, offer just compensation to cover the ship. Then ask for a middleman to purchase the needed hyperdrive parts. Expensive, granted, but it will be required to keep the blue-winged menace blind to our actions. After acquiring the parts, while I work on installation, he will purchase the freedom of the child and his mother and take them safely away from this dustbowl."

"Sounds simplistic for you."

"Not quite." she rubbed her forehead and sighed. "It'll be quite dangerous because my contact is someone known to Qui-Gon."

"And you're willing to keep him in the dark?"

"He's made it clear he doesn't trust my judgment. However, this is my mission; therefore, I must act on my own discretion. One of us needs to ensure that this mission is a success. Besides, I would prefer not to be stuck on this hellhole of a planet." She grunted, pulling a disgusted face as she looked to the ceiling.

"Don't you hold some fondness for the place, after all, you fell in love with him here."  
She slumped forward and refused to look at him. He was right of course. It was here in the sands of Tatooine she found herself flustered beyond belief, and trying desperately to tempt _him _as well. The freezing nights caused them to have to curl together at night, legs tangling, searching for warmth and comfort. _He_ never knew she had woken up first, letting _him_ just hold her, and the pain it brought when _he_ jumped away as soon as _he_ woke up, scrambling to put distance between the two of them. It was also where _he_ cared for her when she got heatstroke, and _he_ had to deal with her rudeness and uncooperativeness to nurse her back to health. After it all _he_ 'd always beath out a sigh of relief _'didn't lose you.'___

"It's where I first realized, but this planet is little more than a place." She paused, eyes closed. She could see it all again, _him_ on the Holo, head bowed in resignation, fear echoing through their bond, the lightsaber slashing through, _his_ eyes meeting hers as life left them. "My family is dead, Father, I will drown myself if I keep lingering. My strength must come from my will to keep moving." She tried acting strong, even as her voice wavered and a tear spilled from her eye. It was hardly a surprise when her father's hand ran through her hair. He leaned forward, pressing a kiss to her forehead. He wasn't there for her as she grew up, but her father had always had a way of soothing her soul, even when she didn't trust him.

________LINE_______

__

Obi-Wan was fiddling with the hyperdrive controls, pushing at the growing feeling tingling up her spine. It felt wonderful, intoxicating, but she knew if she touched it, while her master was so close, it would be finished. She turned her focus instead on plotting the route to the Courascant. The door to the cockpit hissed open as Captain Panaka rushed in.

__

"Qui-Gon is in trouble, he says to take off!" The captain rushed to one of the seats as Ric rushed to the pilot's chair.

__

"I don't see anything" he searched for a sign of Obi-Wan's master. Obi-Wan followed the feeling, letting it guide her finger, to a small cloud of dust.

__

"Over there, fly low," she ordered the pilot. He hesitated, looking at her with confusion as she felt his rebellion rising in the Force. He wavered long enough that she shoved him out of his seat and took his place. The outraged shout was silenced as she flew the ship just above the dust cloud and glowing lights. She felt Qui-Gon's presence on the ship and immediately raised the ship, going for orbit. Her eyes fell to the Pilot who managed to get to his feet, looking shocked. Like a viper strike, she claimed the collar of his uniform in her hands, pulling him close to her.

__

"Next time, don't hesitate when given an order. Because it could be everyone's lives your endangering rather than just my master's." Her voice was low and threatening as she stood. The tense silence of the room remained until she released him and bolted out, rushing to the storage room. Qui-Gon was collapsed on the floor drenched in sweat and dirt, his cheeks were pale rather than the expected red tint. She knew she should have felt relief seeing her master alive and in one piece, but instead rage bubbled in her chest.

__

"You _fool_ , what were you thinking" she shouted at him. He had the decency to flinch slightly, knowing how angry she was, even as she rounded on the wall. The mediscan and bacta spray that hung on the wall was removed in a single swoop before she stormed to his side. She dropped to her knees next to him quickly running the scan over him as she glared at the screen.

__

"Are you alright?" a small voice squeaked. Obi-Wan looked up and for the first time noticed the young sandy-haired boy kneeling next to Qui-Gon.

__

"I think so... that was a surprise I won't soon forget," Qui-Gon replied with ease, causing Obi-Wan to growl.

__

"If he is alright," Obi-Wan began, directing her attention to the boy, "He won't be when I'm done with him." the boy jumped back surprised as the large man winced under the steely gaze of the young woman.

__

"I told you, Force knows how many times. This should not have been a surprise. Force, Master! Why must you always ignore me? Believe it or not, I do know what I'm doing." She shouted, only stopping as the scanner began beeping. She scanned the screen before taking a deep sighing breath and turning her cold eyes to the grown man. "You are a very lucky master. You have a minor case of hyperthermia and muscle fatigue. I'll administer the bacta, and you will be going to rest, in ice."

__

"That thing was after the Queen." Qui-Gon did his best to ignore her as she jammed the needle into his arm to inject the bacta.

__

"Do you think he'll follow us?" the boy asked. Obi-Wan rolled her eyes.

__

"For all you know, that thing was after you. Don't go making assumptions until you have the facts. However, in hyperspace, we're safe."

__

"What about assumptions? So confident in the hyperdrive?" Qui-Gon's eyebrow raised as he looked at Obi-Wan who crossed her arms and glared.

__

"I installed it myself, so yes I am confident. Unless you discover a device that can yank us out of hyperspace I am secure in the belief that here we are safe." Obi-Wan settled down next to Qui-Gon and glanced at the boy, before shooting a look to her master.

__

"Ah, Anakin, meet Obi-Wan Kenobi, my Padawan. Padawan, this is Anakin Skywalker."  
Obi-Wan reached out her hand shaking the hand of the enthusiastic Tatooine boy. He was a bright spot in the Force, shimmering with awe and excitement for the adventure, but shadowed with worry for his mother.

__

"Wow! You're a Jedi too?" Obi-Wan couldn't help the smile that made its way to her lips. Such a sweet boy, Brae was around the same age, the same blue shining excitedly.

__

"I'm pleased to meet you too Anakin."

__

________LINE________

__

"What do you mean?" Obi-Wan whispered in outrage into her comlink, It was late in the rotation cycle, but the call was urgent, and her master was finally asleep.

__

"The senators have close ties with the trade federation, everyone does, they aren't willing to go against them just for a planet not apart of the alliance." His voice scratched through the comlink. She pinched the bridge of her nose.

__

"Fuck it all." she hissed. "What about the other front?"

__

"Everything is ready and waiting for your order."

__

"Thank you."

__

"It's past midnight here, and the ship is setting itself to Coruscant time, go to bed, we'll discuss this more in person when you arrive." She hummed as the line went dead. Stowing the com into her pocket she made her way into the main area, moving to the cabinet to make some tea. It was a subtle feeling at first, she barely even noticed it but as her hand touched the cabinet she fully realized, she wasn't alone. She peered over her raised arm, to see Anakin curled in a ball under the bright orange-red robe of one of the maids. He curled inwards further as her eyes landed on him and her face softened.

__

"You're still awake," she spoke softly, just above a whisper, sending a gentle warmth towards him with the Force to let him know she wasn't upset with him. He nodded into his knees as she sighed.

__

"You're angry." He whispered back. She paused, leaning against the counter.

__

"Yes, I am. Things have hit the fan so to speak, I'm trying to clean things up before it gets too bad."

__

"Hit the fan?" Anakin's head tilted to one side. Obi-Wan chuckled and opened the cabinet.

__

"It's a shortened version of 'shit hit the fan.' It means that a situation got very messy or chaotic despite the attempts to keep it for happening." She pulled the instant-tea out and grimaced. It was not her favorite, but it would work. She quickly activated it as she turned to Anakin.

__

"Qui-Gon and I were present to start negotiations on behalf of Naboo to stop a blockade, we were met with hostilities. After our not-so-gracious hosts blew up our ship and tried to poison us we were forced to flee to the Naboo planetside via their invasion crafts where we had to dodge their droids, make our way through the planet core to the other side of Naboo to rescue her Majesty and flee the planet. Our ship sustained fire, and our hyperdrive was severely damaged. That is how we ended up on Tatooine. Since we sat for so long without repairs, we were able to be tracked down by an enemy force. Thus, the negotiations hit the fan." She lifted the warmed tea to her lips, downing it quickly while noticing the slight shivering of the child.

__

"Come with me." She held out her hand as the other set down the cup. Hesitantly Anakin slipped off the booth and took her hand. She lead him through the ship stopping in front of the door to the room she shared with Qui-Gon.

__

"We must be very quiet alright" she whispered as manually slid the door open. She pressed a finger to her lips and pointed to the floor instructing him to wait as she crept inside with bare feet that didn't make a sound against the floor. Qui-Gon's snoring was as loud as usual, like a Yozusk roaring. She winced and tiptoed past him to the small storage. As the door creaked open, his snores stopped, and he shifted.

__

"Obi-Wan?"

__

"I'm here master, go back to sleep." She whispered, crossing her fingers and praying to the Force. A second later the sores resumed, and she sighed in relief before claiming what she had been looking for.

__

When she reemerged, it was with a pillow and a bundle of fabrics. She slid the door shut again and took Anakin's hand. As a door slid, open Anakin's jaw dropped in awe as he saw the engines and hyperdrive.

__

"This is the engine room. It's by far the warmest room in the ship." She dropped her armload onto the floor before kneeling in front of Anakin. A wave of brown swept over him before something heavy and warm settled over him. He glanced down wide-eyed at the two warm Jedi robes that she had wrapped him in. A sigh escaped his lips as he leaned forward into her.

__

She wrapped her arms around him, letting him settle on the pillow on the floor and leaning Obi-Wan. He burrowed into her side, eyes finally drifting shut as Obi-Wan hummed and ran her fingers through his hair. His breaths evened out as she sent calming waves of the Force over him.

__

"The burning star of Izax bathes the sea in light, feel the peaceful warmth, touch the darkest night." She sang softly.

__

"'s pretty," Anakin mumbled against her. She stiffened for a moment, glancing at him. His face was lax, obviously nearly asleep, so she sighed and relaxed, leaning against the wall. She closed her eyes and placed her head against his soft hair.

__

"Calm your angry heart beneath the waves of fate, feel the tears of Scyva, wash away your hate."

__


	2. Echo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> History is explored as Medria prepares to go to Korriban  
> Obi-Wan stands her ground against her master Qui-Gon when it comes to Anakin. She shows herself to be the biggest supporter for Anakin not joining the order, but rather what would be best for him.  
> Obi-Wan finds refuge in the sith shrine deep inside the temple and her darker side is unleashed in the battle against the sith apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated January 24,2019: Includes new content.

# Chapter 2: Echo

 

* * *

* * *

 

> "The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned."  
>  -Maya Angelou, All God's Children Need Traveling Shoes
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

**Nathem Manor, Dromund Kaas: 3643 BBY (10 ATC)**

Medria fidgeted in the foyer of the manor, her anxiety and nerves running up and down her spine making her feel restless. Her travel bag was at her feet but the maid, Keya, rushed around like a nervous wreck. The steward of the manor, Far'sha, was in the opposite effect, sitting in one of the plush chairs in the opening room, eyes closed, half asleep.

Her transport was set to pick her up in 20 minutes, and from there she was to take a shuttle to Kaas orbital station and a ship to Korriban. Her training at the Sith Academy on Dromund Kaas was slow, constantly interrupted with procedures to help mend the wounds she had acquired while still a child before the treaty was signed, allowing her to gain full mobility of her scarred limbs. Despite the fact she often was behind the class she entered in with, she always rose to the occasion, fighting for the right to be there. Though she had the manor and her father's name, she never forgot, having the Force was not a privilege, her privilege was the dirt.

"Kaya." Medria droned watching the maid rush through the rooms with her arms full of stuff. "I'm going to the Academy on Korriban. I doubt there will be a need for me to pack the entire house."  
"But, what if you need something?" the maid paused head tilted to the side and face drawn up in concern. "It's my job to make sure you have everything you need."

"I doubt I'll need dresses, make-up, blankets, pillows..." Medria trailed as she plucked each item from the older woman's arms. Her eyes grew wide, before softening to fond annoyance as she pulled out a sack that the maid tried to hide. "Kaya, they aren't going to starve me. Just like everywhere else there will be a refectory for me to get food and drink."

There was a loud knocking at the entrance door that echoed through the manor. Medria sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. Through the Force, she could sense one individual at the door, no harm intended, but certainly not her transportation. For the past week, she had nothing but 'well-wishers' stop by to see her off before she left, though some offered the hope she would not return.

"Kaya, go put all of that away. Far'sha, answer the door." She ordered. Kaya tried to argue, but obediently scooped the items in her arms and went back work. Far'sha opened his eyes and stood like nothing had happened. The old man moved slowly to the door opening it. Familiarity and warmth entered the Force as the door opened.

"I hope I am not intruding. I wanted to see young Medria off." The deep familiar voice spoke clearly, and Medria spun on her heel.

"Nikholas!" Medria rushed forward.

The old family friend stood in the doorway, smiling. She had known the old man since she was a child, as he often came to the manor for meetings with her father. When she was 6, she decided that he was her best friend because he had pretty eyes. After her father's death and her injury, he would check on her often, helping schedule medical appointments, enrolling her in the Sith academy as well as tutoring her. Through it all he hardly changed, though he often told her she was giving him gray hairs and wrinkles, he stood tall and strong, built for combat as he served in the Navy.

"Are you prepared for this?" his large hands landed on her shoulders when she stood in front of him, his warm auburn eyes staring deep into her soul.

"Yes. I've been prepared for this." Enthusiasm filled her.

"And who are you meeting?" He quizzed her. Although he had gone over all that information, so she knew it by heart, he was still checking.

"An Overseer by the name of Boreas Tremel."

"You need to be prepared to do whatever it takes. Listen to your overseer, but remember he is not infallible."

"My privilege is the dirt. Ambition will be my guide. My freedom is in the battles I face, the victories I win. My birthright the losses I have suffered, my entitlement is my pain. Though I am surrounded, I face my trials alone." she repeated the lines engraved in her since she was a child. Nikholas' grip tightened on her shoulders, a sign to her he was about to say something essential.

"No task is more important than your life. If you cannot complete the task at the time step back and look at it from another perspective." Medria smiled and leaned forward to whisper in his ear like she was telling a secret.

"Kaya believes my one and only task is to find a husband on Korriban. I think I can face anything if it means avoiding that."

Nikholas barked a laugh and relaxed his grip. Kaya had been trying to find Medria a husband for years, working on beauty regiments and the such to hid her scarred face and limbs. It wasn't because Medria was uninterested in a husband, but she knew the reality. She was Sith, finding anyone normal would be a challenge alone, and she refused to marry another Sith just so she wouldn't have to live fearing when her spouse decided she was not worth it anymore.

"You're wise Medria, to avoid finding a mate at the Academy." he paused as the sound of a speeder pulling up in front of the manor was heard. "Your father would be proud of you. Be safe, may the Force serve you."

"Thank you." She picked her bag up from the floor and slung it over her shoulder. In 24 hours she would be landing on Korriban.

 

* * *

 

**Jedi Temple, Coruscant: 32 BBY (3621 ATC)**

Obi-Wan stayed silent, standing behind her master as he gave the report to the council. After the initiate looks of sympathy from a few of the masters, knowing that the report and the should have been her job, but also knowing that her master was so stubborn that if he decided to take charge, there was no stopping him. She kept her gaze straight ahead, staring at the skyline through the windows. She had to provide her master with credit where it was deserved; he was excellent at omission. If he ever admitted to the council during a report that he had only managed to escape Tatooine due to a wager, Master Windu was bound to have an aneurysm there and then. They were arguing the possibility of a sith lord, but she had no doubt. There was two now, that was it, and that creature was the apprentice. He was angry, a raging inferno in the force, filled with anger and resentment. That being said the master wasn't far. In fact, from the masked dark energy, she could say with certainty that the master was on Coruscant.

With the tail tell dismissal Obi-Wan bowed and turned, starting to leave. However, when she heard her master's name, she realized that he was not with her. She turned and paused in confusion. Their bond was quiet, his side shutting her out, something she was not used to.  
"With your permission, my Master. I have encountered a vergence in the Force." He started. She fought the urge to sigh. The child deserved better, and with his age, it would be a constant fight with the council. She reached out along their bond trying, touching at his shields. The wall was reinforced instead, making her feel colder, and she wasn't oblivious to the subtle shock she got from it. She withdrew, a frown making its way on her face.

"A vergence, you say?" Yoda asked doubtfully.

"Located around a person?" Master Windu questioned.

"A boy, his cells have the highest concentration of midichlorians I have seen in a life form. It is possible he was conceived by the midichlorians." Her master explained, and immediately Obi-Wan's eyes shut. He always had to prove a point.

"You're referring to the prophecy of the one who will bring balance to the Force. You believe it's this boy?" Master Windu questioned. Mentally Obi-Wan confirmed him. Of course, that was what he believed. The prophecy was what drove him in life. Blind hope that the dark could be vanquished once and for all.

"I don't presume" her master wavered, realizing the thin ice he was on.

"But you do! Revealed your opinion is." Yoda accused.

"I request the boy to be tested."

He glanced over at her, subtly out of the corner of his eye. Her displeasure was palpable, and he sensed it easily. However, she pulled her walls up around her mind, staring him down. If he would ignore her, undermine her, then she at least would ensure her own privacy.

Her hands clenched on her arms. The child was too old. They would never accept him, even if they took him in. She tuned the council out, after all, her opinion meant little in the matter.

 _There is no emotion; there is peace_  
There is no ignorance; there is knowledge  
There is no passion; there is serenity  
There is no chaos; there is harmony  
There is no death; there is the Force.  
She chanted over in her mind like it would change anything. Instead, it shifted slowly as she went on.  
_Emotion. Peace. Passion. Chaos. Death. Force._  
Peace, lie. Passion. Strength. Power. Victory. Freedom.  
Her mind snapped back. She couldn't go to that line, not there.

To her relief, no one noticed her dark thoughts. All focus was still on Her master, even as he bowed and started to the exit. Obediently Obi-Wan followed him into the lobby. The padawan manning the council chambers looked bored but had the decency to straighten up as they exited. She shot the boy a sympathetic look. That had to be a tedious job. She followed her towering master to the lifts sighing.

"Master-"

"I know what you're going to say Obi-Wan."Her master cut her off swiftly. Her face closed off.

"May I be dismissed," she asked coldly.

"Not going to say it, are you?"

"What's the point if you already know, master." apparently the lifts were slow, Obi-Wan decided, training her eyes on the doors as they waited.

"Out with it."

"I don't think the boy should join the order. He's too old; the others will never truly accept him." She glanced up at him. His arms were crossed over his chest as he glared down at her. He knew despite everything; she didn't defy him in there. "He should be with his mother. Master, if he is accepted only because of the belief that is possibly some child savior, he will have to live up to that for the rest of his life. Have you given one thought as to what that will do to him? He's a child; no one should be forced to live up to that kind of expectation."

"I have faith-"

"FAITH? Do you even hear yourself? He's a child, the only faith that should be placed in him is that he'll come home messy and forget to put his clothes away and wash behind his ears. Not save the galaxy. He shouldn't be here."

"And who are you to decide if he should be here or not?"

"Apparently I'm the only one who sees this clearly. You promised his mother to get him out of there. You succeeded. You should have promised to take care of him. Since apparently, you've left your head elsewhere-" Her eyes darted to the padawan managing the desk at the council chambers whose discomfort was now palatable.

Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi, the perfect team. Obi-Wan was always subservient, obeying her master without question, and Qui-Gon was always the rebel. Now there they were with Obi-Wan not only questioning him but yelling at him. To any outsider it was abnormal, but for years it had been like that between the two, an unspoken tension resting in the space between them. Disparaging looks sent from master to padawan, resentment sent back. There were even times when she had wished that he hadn't changed his mind on Bandomeer. She could feel the tremor from the other padawan. Fear, fear of her. She straightened her shoulders and tightened her jaw as the lift dinged.

"Obi-Wan" Qui-Gon growled

"May I be excused, master? I haven't had leave for some time." She met his eyes easily, lifting her chin to look up to him. Letting her bond shields weaken slightly to let out a torrent of emotions. Stressed, worried, concerned, tired, restless, sad, guilty. It was just enough to get him to soften.

"Alright Obi-Wan, it's been an exhausting few weeks." It was true. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were desirable for negotiations and had finished up one just in time to go straight to Naboo.  
The door to the council chambers opened, and Yoda wandered out.

"Qui-Gon, speak with you, I wish, my grand-padawan. Tea with me, you will have."

Obi-Wan bowed just as the second lift opened, excusing herself to the one alone.

"Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon called before the lift shut. She held her hand out, keeping the doors from closing.

"The boy is in the senate district with our friends from Naboo. I would like you to get him at some point." There was an underlay of an order, with the council there, she would not defy him.

"Of course, Master, just let me know when."

"I'll com you the time."

She bowed letting the door slip shut leaving her peacefully alone.

She took a long deep breath, eyes shut, and when they opened, they were like lava. Her shields were perfect. Over 20 years with the Jedi ensured that. The three years before it all fell apart also helped. She reached up and fixed her hair, letting her eyes fade back to gray as the lift descended lower, Force she was tired.

* * *

 

No one ever entered the bowels of the Jedi temple. While the temple guards did patrol the general area leading to the core of the temple, there was never a reason for anyone to venture to the core, so it wasn't a real concern for them. However Obi-Wan knew how to avoid everyone with skill and ease, she might as well be walking to her own quarters with her confidence.  
It was dusty and dark the farther into the core of the temple one wandered, a fact which didn't bother her. It was curious though. Why in the galaxy would the Jedi build atop a sith temple?  
She knew her history, it was one of her best subjects, in fact, she knew that the shrine had been made just over a millennia before she had been born. It had been her assumption though, that the Jedi at least had the brains to destroy such a place rather than letting it slowly poison their own temple. Her late night wondering during her initiate years as a Jedi had proven her wrong.  
The entrance was a set of unassuming black doors that had black tiles all the way up to the high ceilings of the dark hall. She pushed one door open a crack, slipping inside. It was black inside, only illuminated by the red glowing that she had deemed "the heart" of the temple, which shown through each crack, illuminating the way throughout.

"Who enters?" A voice called, the heart, the temple itself.

"It's only me. As always." She answered lightly, before the heart pulsed warningly. "I am a Lord of the Sith, acknowledged by the dark council. My father named me Medria Nathem." She tried to placate the heart. It never remembered, and as tedious as it could be, it made each visit feel like a fresh start. She pulled her walls close, reinforcing it, all gaps were sealed, and she slipped away from the view of the Jedi. The temple itself guarded those who entered, masking their presence in the force.

"What brings you here?" It asked her, the voice echoing as she entered the shrine. It was small, nothing overly elaborate, and as decorative as the temples she had seen on Korriban and Dromund Kaas, however, it had its beauty as she knelt, feeling relieved.

"Solace, from the Jedi." She sighed, sucking in the power of the dark like it was her first gasp of air after nearly drowning.

"Why flee from the Jedi?"

"You were consumed by the Jedi, surrounded and buried. I cannot meditate, not while they are present." She explained.

"What year is it?" It asked a question it never did before.

"It is 3621 years after the Treaty of Coruscant. Who was the Master when this temple was created?"She reached out searching, pulling at each emotion, sinking into meditation.

"Naga Sadow."

"It has been... 5 thousand years, roughly since your creation." She racked her mind for her history, the way the leadership was handed down through the ages. The destruction of Nathema. "Lord Vitiate took reign not long after, after stoking the embers of fear of the Republic throughout the empire."

She landed on her frustration, her frustration at being continually being undermined, at being ignored, unqualified, her master using a child to soothe his ego. She raged, and it rolled into the room amplifying and sharpening.

"Nathem... Nathema. You have a strange name, young one. That is not a pureblood name."

She barked a laugh, her concentration slipping.  
"I have the blood of the pure in my veins like my father before me. I bleed as our ancestors did, But I am human in many ways. My pale skin, smooth, lacking any marks of tendrils. I don’t know from who our family name came from. Either way, my father was a complex man with an unfortunate sense of humor. I’m not sure if my mother was human or a pureblood." she mused, head tilted as she considered her lineage before shrugging it off.

"How can you not know?"

"Though I have my suspicions about who my mother was, I never learned for a fact. And, as I said, my father was a complicated man. He was human born from a lineage of pureblood past.”

"Out of wedlock." It spat.

"My privilege was the dirt. I had to fight for everything I had. That's what my mother gave me, what my father drove into me." She scoffed and shook her head, standing. "I wouldn't expect you to understand."

Her thoughts moved, and so did she. When she had first arrived, she carved names into the stone so she would never forget. Her family, her friends, people she worked with, people met in passing, enemies. She never wanted to forget. Her fingers trailed over each name.

"I didn't know my family until much later in life. My regret is that we weren't able to be there for each other growing up." Her voice was soft as her hand trailed the name of her sister. "I could have been there for her. I could have helped her."

Her hand moved to her brothers', hand covering them. She pressed her forehead against the back of her hand.

"Family is sacred. There's a bond forged by those from blood and by choice that cannot be explained, it simply is. Much like the Jedi force bonds with their apprentices, unknowingly Sith force bonds with their family, because we love, our passion is deep." She moved over slightly planting a kiss on three names before turning to the heart.

"I need to go now. I thank you for your help meditating." She started down the steps moving swiftly towards the door. "I'll be back, try not to forget!" She called as she opened the door.

…

As the door shut the light shone brightly as a figure emerged. He was tall, broad-shouldered, square-jawed. His armor was thick and intimidating as the red light of the heart glowed from within him. Each session she came he gathered information from her, he had her repeat herself, over and over. She was always so reluctant to speak directly with him, but here, she spoke freely, openly, meditating with him, letting him guide her as if she were a youngling.

He moved towards the wall, placing his hand next to the section she labeled 'my family.'

"Despite it all child, you still place me first." His finger traced the name. Tenebrae.

* * *

 

Anakin sat in the cafeteria, legs swinging from the chair he was left in. The council meeting was scary, the beings were frustrated and annoyed. They didn't like him. Anakin decided he liked Obi-Wan. It was loud in the temple, noise filled his head, but Obi-Wan was soothing. He could feel her softly, where others were loud.

"Come on, hurry!" A young boy shouted catching Anakin's attention. For a moment he thought the boy was talking to him until a Twi-lek child stood up.

"Why? what's going on?" he asked.

"Kenobi's in the Arena!" the first child shouted. Anakin's head rocketed up. Kenobi, he knew that name. Kenobi. OBI-WAN. He got up and followed the group of children who all rushed through the temple into a room the sunk deep like a bowl with seats that lined the walls so everyone could see. However, Anakin moved to the front with the rest of the children, pressing himself as close to the shield as he could.

He could see her moving slowly around the shielded portion of the room, pressing buttons along the wall. Her hair was tied close to her head, braided and pinned. She didn't even seem to notice that she had an audience watching her. Anakin glanced around, there were dozens of people there, even adults, taking a seat to watch.

"What's so special about Obi-Wan?" Anakin whispered to the child next to him.

"She's like, the best! When she's knighted, I hope she'll choose me as a padawan." was the answer.

"Don't get your hopes up, I'm going to be Kenobi's Padawan." another child jeered before leaning back to look at Anakin. "Her master had her train almost non stop, she's amazing with a 'saber."

She was stretching, twirling the hilt of her lightsaber around in her hand, bouncing on her heels. Then she knelt down in the middle of the room, eyes closed as she slipped something into each ear. Anakin watched with bated breath as Obi-Wan took slow deep breaths, her shoulders rising and falling steadily with each inhale and exhale.

"Computer, initiate voice recognition." Obi-Wan's voice was loud, as it caused silence to fall over the crowd.

"Recognition started, state name."

"Obi-Wan Kenobi."

"Recognition complete."

"Initiate personalized training simulation: Star of Izax."

"Initializing. Prepare."

Obi-Wan took a deep breath, as did everyone in attendance, and it hung on bated breath.  
A droid jumped to life, swinging a training saber with deadly intent at Obi-Wan's neck. However, as if anticipating it, she rolled under the blade, activating her own. Just as she blocked the next blow blaster fire came from the walls. She twirled around it, jumping over each fire like they moved in slow motion. Anakin stood there jaw dropped. He caught a glimpse of how Mister Qui-Gon fought, but Obi-Wan's style was different. She never stopped moving. She jumped and flipped, doing acrobats he didn't think were possible. He kept watching until Obi-Wan's hands found her knees, and she bent over panting.

"Wizard."

"Computer stop simulation." She ordered between breaths. She glanced up, looking right at him.  
"Aww. That was barely any time at all." the child next to him sighed. On her behalf, he bristled.  
She had been on a run when she picked him up from the Senate and was all sweaty and sticky, but he had insisted that she carry him on her back as she completed her run back to the temple.

"Shields down." the glowing shields disappeared, and she could see him clearly. An exasperated look crossed her face as she made eye contact with him. She straightened and walked over to him, much to the excitement of the others. She plucked the things in her ears out and stored them away in her belt.

"Anakin, shouldn't you be with the council?" she breathlessly asked, leaning against the high wall, looking up at him.

"Obi-Wan, that was so wizard. You did that even after we ran all the way here from the Senate, well, you ran. That was so wizard!" He cheered. She laughed and shook her head.

"Come on; Master Qui-Gon is probably looking for you." She reached up and plucked him from the stands, and moved him to her back with ease.

"D'ya think I will be able ta do that?" he asked excited, bending over her shoulder to look at her face. There was a soft smile that she gave him the night on the ship. Her head tilted his way slightly, though her focus was on her path.

"If the council accepts you, and you're willing to train hard, I don't see why not." They reached a lift which seemed to be already waiting for them.

"Everyone wants to be your padawan," he told her and felt the hesitation in her next step.  
"Why do you think that?"

"They were arguing over who you would choose."

"Well, I haven't even been recommended for my trials yet, I'm going to worry about that before even concerning myself with if I'm going to take on an apprentice."

All too soon they were at the council chambers where Mister Qui-Gon was pacing. Anakin could feel anger coming from him in waves, and he gripped Obi-Wan a bit tighter.

"Where were you?" He demanded, hands crossing his chest.

"Sorry master. I figured he would be bored so I invited him down to watch me practice." Anakin blinked. She just lied, easily. There was no shift in her, nothing, and she did it for him. He was angry but the anger directed at Anakin for disappearing shifted to Obi-Wan.

"We'll talk about this later, Padawan." He warned as the council chambers opened. Obi-Wan quickly set him down.

"Calm the storm, Anakin." She whispered, and a soothing feeling washed over him. He reached out towards that feeling, but Obi-Wan pressed a hand to his heart and smiled before standing and slipping her hands into her robes.

The three of them went to the center of the room, Obi-Wan, a step behind Mister Qui-gon and to the right, while Anakin stood directly in front of Mister Qui-Gon, with the man's large hands on his shoulders. He swallowed nervously, glancing up at Mister Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan before facing the many adults around the room.

Calm the storm. He reminded himself as he took a deep breath.

"Correct you were, Qui-Gon." the small green one said.

"His cells contained a high concentration of midichlorian." the angry looking bald man elaborated.

"the force is strong with him." another agreed.

"He's to be trained then." Mister Qui-Gon sounded relieved, happy. Anakin was going to be a Jedi.

"No. He will not be trained." the angry bald man disagreed.

The Galaxy dropped out from under him.

"No?!" Mister Qui-Gon shouted. Anakin's eyes watered as he turned to look to Obi-Wan who smiled weakly at him.

"He's too old. There is already too much anger in him." the bald man started.

"He is the chosen-" Hands slapped over Anakin's ears as his vision filled with Obi-Wan's rage-filled eyes. He wasn't sure if it was just because her hands were over his ears or if the room really did fall quiet. Her eyes weren't on him, they were looking up, over his head glaring. The calmness he was so used to feeling from her turned to a sandstorm, large and powerful. It rumbled in his chest until it faded quickly.

She stiffened, eyes dropping immediately to the floor. He could feel her hands trembling over his ears before falling to his upper arms.

"We forbid it." someone said, but he knew, somehow, they weren't talking about him. Their eyes were on one of two places, Qui-Gon, or Obi-Wan.

"Anakin, go wait outside." She spoke softly.

"but-" He tried to argue but a soft hand on his cheek silenced him. Her gray eyes met his.  
"Now, Anakin, you shouldn't hear these things." It was a warning and a protection. He nodded, and let her lead him to the door. He glanced back up at her once they reached the door.

"Are you in trouble?" He asked, noticing the blank look in her eyes. Her smile never reached. She brushed her fingers through his hair.

"No, but don't worry about me Anakin, it'll be alright."

As the door slid shut, the last thing he saw was Obi-Wan's eyes close.

He waited for them, and it took ages. The padawan sitting at the desk stared at him, and he stared back. Finally, the door to the chambers opened, and Qui-Gon strolled out. He turned as if to speak to Obi-Wan, but she was still standing amongst the masters, head bowed. Qui-Gon had just passed the doors, and before he could call out Obi-Wan's name, they slid shut.

* * *

 

"Sit Kenobi, before you fall." Master Windu's broke her thoughts. Numbly she obeyed, dropping to her knees before the council — her hand wrapped around her long Padawan braid as if desperately clinging to the past.

Things were rocky between her and Qui-Gon, but to be repudiated in front of the council was a shock for even her. Though she was sure it wasn't his intent, even the council recognized the dismissal. She barely managed to land a padawanship (though at the time she didn't care), but then she left to fight with the young, and then Master Tahl died. The thought of her trials was second hand, he only wanted to train the chosen one.

It was a knee-jerk reaction to flinch when a heavy hand landed on her shoulder, stopping her thoughts. However, when she looked up, it was Master Windu kneeling before her. Storm gray eyes dropped to look at the tiled floor.

"Do you still wish for me to go on the mission," she asked staring at the mosaic tiling in detail.  
"Yes, your insights could prove vital."

She nodded mutely for a minute before looking up at the master.

"I will complete my mission Masters, and then I will take my leave of the Jedi. I have been repudiated once more; I am too old for another master to take me, too young to take my trials. Let Qui-Gon take Anakin on; it is his wish to do so. I will not stand in the way." Obi-Wan conceded.

It was then that true sorrow filled her. She was not whole, but Qui-Gon had promised to see her to her knighthood. She wanted to understand, no, she needed to understand what the Jedi went through, why the Grand-Master could put past her personal feelings to work side by side with a sith. Why she would deny her own son but recognize her as powerful. Why some rules applied and strictly enforced but others meant nothing. So far, none of it made sense to her. She understood controlling her emotions, to an extent, but only so much as to how it could be used to help or hinder her, which had always been how she viewed everything.

"What will you do? Where will you go?" Master Mundi asked.

"I've met several beings on my adventures, allies, a few I've kept in contact with. If I ask it, they'll take me in, until I am settled on my feet. From there I'm not sure, there's a whole galaxy, so much unknown to me." She had plans she had been putting off. A commitment to Tremel and her other people. A Sith to hunt down, a force to build.

"We're losing a bright star in the Force, Obi-Wan, we are sorry for the loss."

She shook her head though and smiled. Life could continue, as could her plans. She could leave Anakin her com number if he ever needed her, but she could virtually disappear.

"No, this is for the best." She disagreed, pushing up to her feet. She bowed the council and paused. "Might I request that I keep my lightsaber? I'll most likely need it for Naboo, and it could prove useful out there."

They seemed to debate for a second before permitting it, letting her walk out with a high head and her lightsaber still clicked to her belt.

"Obi-Wan, what was that about?" Qui-Gon demanded as she exited. She took Anakin's hand as the three of them walked to the lift.

"They needed to speak with me on a private matter." Which wasn't a lie, she just didn't need to tell him.

"So you're not in trouble?" Anakin asked.

"No, no I'm not in trouble," she whispered as they entered the elevator. "I have a few things I need to grab at our chambers, but I can meet you at the Senate shortly." the lift stopped at one of the residential floors, and Obi-Wan stepped off. She smiled shortly at Anakin before striding away briskly, leaving Master and new Padawan together on the lift. She moved to her old quarters, fingers pausing over the name place pinned to the wall. Jinn/ Kenobi.

Palming to door open she stepped inside the dark apartment. The light flickered on. Everything was exactly as it was the last time she was there. Neat and orderly, as Qui-Gon preferred. Two mugs sat cup side down on the counter waiting for use. The walls were bare save for a painting Qui-Gon had acquired many years ago. A stack of datapads sat in a tilted tower next to her plush chair where she would curl up and read over reports or old history texts. A part of her was impressed that the stack had not tipped over quite yet. She plucked out those which mattered to her: a datapad on the laws of the republic over the past three thousand years, the history of fighting techniques and how to identify them, and a text called "the treaty of Coruscant: diplomacy, intelligence, and war. The latter was, of course, written from the republic's viewpoint of the great war. She carried the three datapads to her room where she stowed them away in a shoulder bag, along with a change of clothes, her underclothes, a holocube with snapshots of her life as a padawan, and youngling.

Most importantly to her, she grabbed flimsy that she had drawn on. Familiar faces in ink looked up at her, each on their own page. Some were drawn more frequently than others. A man with sleek black hair and a nerflick right in the front, and a straight face with smiling eyes. A twi'lek with a shite eating grin, or laughing. A smiling little boy. A baby girl, eyes wide with wonder. She gently tucked them away in her bag before looking around the room. She went to walk out when she Force called one last object to her, a smooth black stone with red veins landed in her hand, and she closed her fist around it. She couldn't part with it.

 

* * *

 

**Theed, Naboo: 32 BBY (3621 ATC)**

Obi-Wan's blood pulsed for the need, it tore through every fiber of her being. Fight. She longed for battle, a real war between foes. She could feel it from him as well, even as the red Zabrak with black sith tattoos covering him lowered his hood. His yellow and red eyes called to her, begging her to return the favor of revealing her intent. She stepped forward, taking her robe off with little ceremony, eyes locked on the apprentice before her. He held the hilt of his lightsaber out and without even igniting it she knew, two blades. When it ignited one at a time, she dreaded what it meant for both her and her master.

Azure light up her vision as she thumbed it on to the highest setting. This was no practice; she would aim to dismember him. She charged him, flipping over hoping that the jumping attack would throw him off, but he managed to block her attempt as well as. It was a dance she was not fully accustomed to. The last time she faced an opponent with a lightsaber with the intent to kill was when she was still an initiate with an awkward body trying to keep alive a master who wanted nothing to do with her. The last time, as an adult, was another lifetime ago, with no practice since then. But she wasn't inexperienced. The predatory stalk she had when he backed them into the power generator pit warned him of her experience. She couldn't go all out, if she did, Qui-Gon was sure to report her to the council. The blessing was that Qui-Gon had all but closed their bond, leaving her to funnel her emotions through her.

A kick to the face shocked her, even as she tumbled off the bridge. She landed hard, shoulder first onto a lower level before nearly rolling off. Her fingers strained, keeping her up as she cursed. She got ahead of herself. The dance was off step. She heard a thud, followed by another, and with a glance, noticed the apprentice and Qui-Gon also dropped down a level. She Struggled to pull herself up and quickly rushed to join the fight once more. Speed enhanced or not, she was no match for the laser barrier that closed in the hallway just before she arrived, leaving her helpless as Qui-Gon and the apprentice were ahead of her.

She opened her mind, beating at the bond she shared with Qui-Gon begging for him to open up. Any fool could sense the apprentice's intent. The older man was not styled for confined space, he was going to get hurt. The bond opened slightly.

'Wait for me, damn it!" she shouted at him through their bond, but she felt him brush her off, closing up once more.

Fear rose in her. Fear, panic, dread. Their barriers opened before hers and immediately engaged once more. Her barrier didn't drop soon enough as she sped through the hallway, only to be cut short by one barrier.

Time froze, and everything slowed to a crawl. Qui-Gon swung, was blocked, arms knocked above his head, a hit to the head by the apprentice's lightsaber stunned him, and then red, through his torso. He looked shocked, eyes wide. The pain leaking through the bond didn't come for a few seconds until the saber was withdrawn and his brain caught up with his body.  
"NOOOOOO!!" She screamed, the pain from her master echoing through her soul. It hurt, burned. It reminded her all too much of when she was stabbed, but this time she could feel the bond growing cold distant. She gripped tightly at the bond, even as the apprentice grinned and mutely threatened her. She couldn't think, couldn't keep calm. All she could focus on was gripping the bond tightly and not letting go. The rage burned into her soul as soon as the barrier released. She launched herself into a full attack. She was strong, being able to use both hands granted the ability to put weight against each strike, forcing him to move around her. A Force push was a cold reminder that as she hung over the melting pit, her master was still aware, feeling everything she was. Sparks flew down on her as the Zabrak taunted her. She sobered quickly quashing down her bloodlust

SURVIVE.

Scyva cleansed her. Intent remained, focus. She had to survive. She glared at the apprentice. He represented every failure of the sith, every weakness. Qui-Gon’s lightsaber shivered and the Force built in her. She hated the Zabrak, but that was not why they fought. He was in her way. He hurt Qui-Gon. He would kill Anakin.

She lept, the Force rushing out of her as she spun over the apprentice slashing. He looked shocked, a look she was not unaccustomed to when facing a foe. She was always underestimated. Her blood, her age, her size, her status. She knew no bounds. The apprentice tumbled back, legs separating from his body at the waist, before falling into the deep melting pit.  
Once Obi-Wan was sure that he would not be coming back she dashed to Qui-Gon's side, clinging more desperately to the bond that was freezing over.

"Master. Master" She cried out, she slid to his side, gently lifting his head into her lap as she pressed a hand to his wound. His large hand found her's on his chest, and squeezed it lightly.  
"It is too late... It's..." He breathed face scrunched in pain. She pulled at the bond, trying to keep him close as she bent in closer to him.

"No. I'll get help, you'll be fine." His cheeks were being splashed by water, and she realized her vision was swimming. She was crying.

"Obi-Wan, promise... promise me, you'll train the boy..." he struggled to get out as she pushed what little Force healing skills she had into the wound.

"No, no. I-I can't. you have to survive." She shook her head. He didn't even know she wasn't a Jedi anymore.

"Obi-Wan please, promise me." He begged looking deep in her eyes. She could feel him, for the first time in over a month, reach out to her through their bond. The bond was freezing, numb, but she felt a warmth coming from him. 'Everything is going to be alright' he was trying to portray.

"Okay. I promise." she agreed.

"He is the chosen one... he will... bring balance..." he struggled to say, but Obi-Wan shook her head.

"You don't even know what that means," she whispered as his hand found her cheek. His large thumb wiped away a tear before pain erupted throughout her soul. His hand dropped away as she screamed and sobbed, clutching him tightly as the bond snapped and lashed back at her. She felt ill, and the world fell from under her until she collapsed, unconscious around the body of her former master.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I got that done sooner than I thought I would. Obi-Wan struggles a bit with the Force, light and dark. This is to portray a more neutral aligned sith. Family is a big factor to her and will continue to be a main component in the story as the characters grow.  
> I really wanted to show a different type of relationship between Obi-Wan and Anakin. Before, I believe Anakin saw Obi-Wan as more of a rival for Qui-Gon's attention and affection rather than a mentor. With Obi-Wan being a girl, he can see more of a maternal figure who is gentle and caring with him, and Obi-Wan plays the parental role well.


	3. Frozen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter includes Zakullian culture, which, I've made up. Most of which, centers around the belief of the old gods and how it relates to the Force and how Obi-Wan balances it with the beliefs of the Jedi.  
> UPDATED April 3, 2019

#  Chapter 3: Frozen

> _ "It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone." _
> 
> _ \- Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy _

 

**3630 BBY (23 ATC)**

126 hours of humanitarian work. 4 hours of flight between 2 planets and then another 4 just to get back to base. In that time the Commander slept 3 hours, total. An hour nap between planets and two hours on the way back to base. Despite the dark bags under her eyes her mood never changed, she remained level headed and focused on the task. Unlike many perceptions of leadership, she was down in the dirt of the efforts working side by side, rather than barking out orders. She managed to avoid listening to her second in commands, Lana and Theron, until their arrival back to base.

The Commander wasn't quite worried enough when Lana and Theron went straight to her brother and Senya when their ship landed.

"Vette, I want you to upgrade the weapons on the Salvation, I know you've been dying to do so. Also, run another scan to see if there's been any signal from Quinn or Jaesa." The Commander ordered, her hand gentle on her friend's shoulder.

"Of course."  The Twi-Lek smiled. Vette's periwinkle eyes drifted over the Commander's shoulder and small smile grew on her lips. The commander’s head tilted to the side, curious.

The Force gave no warning as she felt a hand grab her arm, and suddenly she was in the air and landing harshly on a sharp shoulder blade. She grunted, air rushing out of her lungs as her brother threw her over his shoulder and walked away with her. She gaped. It hadn’t been the first time he manhandled her. Their time training with each other were often rough, leaving both of them with bruises. However, that was often in private, not in the middle of the hanger where all her people were able to see. 

“What do you think you’re doing!” She squaked, trying to wiggle out of his arms. She could see a few of the more wary troops reaching for their blasters. 

“Stand down, that’s an order.” Lana’s voice rang out. The commander’s jaw dropped, staring at the sith leader. The former republic troopers raised their blasters.

“Blasters down gentlemen.” Theron waved their blasters down. 

“You- TRAITORS!” the gasped as her brother carried her out of the hanger. 

“Sleep well commander!” Theron called back with an all too smug smile. 

"Kriff you! Put me down!" She commanded, hitting her brother’s back and kicking as the ground swayed before her.

"I think not." His voice was strong. "Lana and Theron spoke with me..."

Suddenly the Commander wasn't sure if it was the blood rushing to her head or dread rising that made her suddenly feel like the earth was going to swallow her. Dignity was out the window,nothing was going to gain it back for her at that point. The gentle hiss was the sign of a room opening, and once in the darkened room, she was soon airborne once more, landing with a bounce on her bed.

"What were you thinking," he demanded as she sat up, his arms crossed. Their scarred faces mirrored each other, both frustrated, but one more exhausted than the other.

"There was work to be done," she tugged on the straps of her armor loosening it before pulling on her belt, unhooking the strap and letting it fall over her lap.

"I can't be there for you if you work yourself to death." The commander's eyebrows raised at his shouting voice. He was upset with her.

"I apologize Arcann, I won't do it again." She yawned, rubbing her eyes. Suddenly she realized just how dark and warm her room was, the walls thick enough to muffle the noise around the compound. She heard him sigh before feeling her armor being removed. Her eyes snapped open, blinking wildly as Arcann placed her chest and shoulder armor on the display stand.

"I think I am more than capable of undressing!" She squeaked, batting him away when he reached out to her again.  The dry look on his face was the start.

Since Arcann joined their alliance, the bond between half-siblings grew strong, and the two acted like they had known each other their whole lives. During meetings, they found themselves speaking over a family bond instead of out loud, which caused some slightly awkward silent moments, and also many eye rolls as private jokes were shared. They understood each other, respected each other. They both had lost much, and when it seemed like there was nothing to hold them up, they found each other.

"Considering you were practically asleep I argue that." He grabbed her hand grabbing at her glove. She clenched her fists and tried to pull away, but he won over her tired state, snaking the fingerless gloves off and setting them on their designated shelf.

"I don't know how you managed to escape me so often, you barely seem capable of taking care of yourself." He muttered, moving to her boots while she begrudgingly pulled her top off, swiftly calling a shawl to cover her bare shoulders. He moved the boots to sit against the wall before grabbing her hairbrush and sitting next to her. Her eyes closed automatically as he started pulling the pins out of her hair, fingers pulling the braids apart.

"Am I doing the right thing?" She whispered, his fingers paused in her hair before continuing like it never happened. It had been months of rebuilding, she refused to take the throne and rule as the next eternal empress, but in many ways, she was one. Zakuul saw her as their leader, and after the destruction of so many planets, her humanitarian efforts had the people turning to her for leadership. “I mean, look at me. How could I lead anyone? I could barely keep my crew of 5 safe when we were in danger, how can I keep 20 systems safe? I relinquished the eternal empire’s hold on the republic and imperial systems, but I- I don’t think it’s enough. What if it’s never enough?”

"I think that the galaxy doesn't deserve you," he told her honestly, as he finished brushing out her hair. "Get your rest, you need it." He stood, placed the brush on her nightstand and walked to the door. The lights dimmed until the room was completely dark. She shuffled on her bed, slipping under the sheet and gripping the second pillow to her chest. 

"And Medria" Arcann paused hand on the door.  "Don't doubt yourself, sister." He slipped out quietly. She laid there, staring at the closed door, before shutting her eyes.  _ Don’t doubt _ were her last thoughts as her breaths evened out with sleep.

…

Sirens blared throughout the compound, startling Medriaa awake. The steady strobing of the red emergency light lit up her private chambers as she stumbled into action. The sudden awakening made her movements slow and awkward as she nearly tripped out of her bed, sheet tangling her feet as she rushed to her armor, hands flying through her hair, tying it up unceremoniously. The one advantage was she kept her armor out and accessible, and slipping into the armorweave was easy enough. As she stumbled to get into the armorweave.

"Attention all personnel report to your stations. This is not a drill. All civilians are to report to their safety locations. This is not a drill." A voice called over the sound system spurring the Medria on even more.

She cursed, grabbing her boots and throwing them on as she used the force to call the rest of her armor onto her. Her shoulder and chest piece slipped on over her head strapping itself as she buckled her boots. The belt flew around her waist, latching as her lightsabers clipped on. She stood hand touching the crest of Zildrog as she ran from the room. Just as she exited, her helmet soared to her hand, letting her slip it on with ease.

The halls were crowded and filled with movement. People rushed to their destinations. Civilians, fleeing to the safety locations, towing screaming children, military members running past to report to their individual stations. However, her presence was noticeable even in the chaos. Long powerful strides and singular focus made nearly everyone scatter out of her way.

The command center was bustling with life the commander's inner circle and high-level staff rushed around. Few paused, sparing a bow to her before continuing on with their tasks. It was when the commander spotted Lana by the holomap that she finally spoke up.

"Lana, situation update," she ordered as she moved to stand in front of the map as well. The young Sith Lord was paler than usual in the light of the map, but Medria's eyes were on the cruisers, republic and imperial, in orbit above their base. Shields were up but were under attack from fighters from both sides.

"Imperial and Republic ships have entered the system and opened fire on our supply vessels," Lana replied as Theron moved to stand next to her, datapad in hand.

"What is their purpose here? Has there been any contact?" Medria searched. It had been months since the end of the war, there was no sign beforehand that motioned at an impending attack. It had been long since captives from both sides were returned to their homelands.

"Not as of yet. We have not had contact from our contacts on either side yet as well."Theron answered, looking just as sleepless as the commander. She shouted as she tore her helmet, slamming it on the table with eyes burning of the dark side.  A heavy moment passed as movement in the command center paused, eyes all on her. She sighed heavily swearing as she rubbed her face.

"It gets worse," Arcann's gruff voice spoke up from behind her. She glanced over her shoulder as he stepped up to her. He was concerned. "Odessen is blockaded, our fleet is out of reach. They've come to destroy you next, after father, you're the next greatest threat in the galaxy."

"They've shot down two unarmed transport ships and three squads of our fighters." Theron interrupted even as Senya walked in. She too looked like she had just woke up, working to smooth her hair into the usually neat bun she wore.

"Well..." Medria started grimly, a ghost of a smile playing on her lips. "At least we've finally been able to make those two to play nicely together." Lana and Theron snorted, Senya rolled her eyes, and Arcann scowled.

"Medria, not a joking matter." He warned, but her smile widened.

"Then let's show them the alliance is not to be trifled with." She grabbed her comlink, "Vette, prep the Salvation for action. Koth, is my squad ready?"

"Sure thing boss!" Vette's chipper voice called back. "This gives us the time to try out those new improvements."

"The squad is gearing up now, Commander," Koth answered, before shouting at someone. Medria gave a sharp nod, spun on her heel and charged out of the room to the hanger bay. The ramp of the salvation was down, waiting for her to enter. Her palm slammed against the ramp button as she sped into the ship. 

“Vette, take off!” She shouted, running towards one of the lower gunner deck. The ship rocked as the landing gear disengaged and the interceptor took off into the atmosphere. They flew out the strategically placed shield gate into open warfare. Medria flipped on the open com channel on.

“This is the supreme commander of the eternal alliance and empress of the eternal empire. Your presence here is an unwarranted act of violence. Cease hostilities. If you do not, we will open fire.” Her voice calm and commanding over the line. She knew already. She sensed it before it came. 

Imperial and republic ships opened fire on her ship.

…

“I’m fine Pierce, I don’t need you to carry me when I can walk on my own two feet.” Medria snapped, marching past him even as blood trickled down her ashened. Overwhelmed. Compleatly and utterly overwhelmed. Her hands trembled at the thought. For over a decade she rarely lost a battle, and now they were forced to retreat, surrounded by the enemy. 

Senya was at the door waiting for her when she stormed in. 

“Don’t be too hard on yourself.” She whispered, stopping her. 

“Senya-”

“Don’t.” she stopped her, pulling out a handkerchief. She moistened it for a moment before rubbing at the soot covering Medria’s face and wiping at the blood on her temple. “Don’t take it all on yourself. You are not alone. We’re all here for you. Myself, your brother Arcann, Lana, Theron, all the others, even that old man of yours.” Medria nodded softly against the hand that cupped her cheek. 

“Thank you.” Medria whispered before continuing into the war room. 

Lana and Theron were jittering nervously by the holo, waiting for her. The steady blinking of an incoming signal summons. 

"Commander?" Lana asked hand hovering above the answer button. Medria nodded her head, slipping her helmet back on as the image of Empress Acina and Supreme Commander Malcom appeared. Medria straightened, hip cocked to one side, arms crossed over her chest.

“You are committing an act of war. The aliance and the empire of Zakuul have done nothing for these few months but offer aid. You've shot down two unarmed transport ships, bombarded my base, shot down a number of my fleet, and barricaded this planet. What is the meaning of this?"

“The Zakuul empire has caused too much harm to be allowed to survive. Our terms of surrender is this. Compleate surrender. All planetary systems will be split between the Republic and Sith Empire. Your inner circle will be placed under arrest by the people of their orrigin. Former Prince Arcann will answer to both sides for war crimes.” Supreme Commander Malcom listed. The very blood in her boiled, and beneith her visor she could feel her eyes lighting with the dark side. Those who were force sensitive in the room did a better job at hiding their feelings, but everything erupted through the force. Outrage, denial, defeat, hopelessness, the list went on. , and it swallowed.

“And one more thing.” Acina spoke up. “We want your head, clean from your body, and on display.”

“Now, now Acina, no need to be so barbaric.” Malcolm scolded. His eyes turned towards his son. “Agen Shan… it’s not too late to return to the Republic.”

Theron straightened and his eyes hardened. “Thank you for the offer, but I’m sticking with my Commander.”

"You must understand that you are vastly outnumbered, Commander Nethem. You will lose this battle." Malcom warned, but his eyes were on Theron.

"You must understand I don't give in. I've faced worse odds when facing the Emperor, Arcann, and then Vaylin, all without your help. So excuse me when I say, I rather like my odds."

The holo grew wider as more people entered range from both sides, dozens of individuals on their knees, soldiers behind them. A few Medria recognized, but from the look of horror that passed Lana and Theron's face she knew, these were their contacts. Medria scowled fists clenching, as the soldiers pulled the trigger on their blasters and their prisoners tumbled forward. But that wasn't the end of it. Acina marched three more people onto the Holo, two small children and an admiral. Medria's heart stopped, the Force froze around, and her ears rang as the Admiral looked up. Malavai. The children clung to him, tears streaming down their faces and before Medria could open her mouth three shots were fired.

Theron slammed his hand down on the Holo, cutting the transmission immediately as the Force started to build pressure. One real and one cybernetic arm wrapped around Medria, holding her tightly as the Force exploded from her and she screamed. Arcann's Force presence surrounded her, smothering her, Senya's not far behind.

"Theron plan zeta."Lana's voice echoed in Medria's ears as she looked up.

"Wha-" Theron grabbed a confused Medria, dragging her from the Holo. Suddenly she was falling. Medria landed with a painful thud but recovered quickly. Her helmet came off as she stood staring up a few at Theron who was now a floor above her as she stood in a pit. There was shouting behind him, and then everything went cold. She summoned a blade to her hand, trying to figure out just why her friend and ally would attack her like that. Cooling sprays came out of the wall, and she raised an arm to cover her face, but the world went dark.

* * *

**32 BBY (3621 ATC)**

Pounding. Thudding. Bombardment against a shield. She blinked a force presence washed over her, steady, confident, calm.

"Senya." She mumbled, reaching a hand out for her step-mother. Everything felt weird. The Force felt strange, yet her panic subsided, and she withdrew her Force presence. There was noise all around her, people rushing about. She couldn't move, though, it had to be the cooling spray. Warm hands grabbed her, moving her. Limbs awoke with unpleasant tingling shooting up her legs. Hands moved her bending her back tilting her to rest against a firm body. That most certainly was not Senya. She blinked, eyes unfocused.

"Arcann?" she whispered reaching out searching with the Force.

"Hear" a deep voice muddled through her mind. "-rstand?"

The weight on her legs moved, and someone grabbed her wrist. A warm, calloused hand cupped her cheek, tilting her face back.

"Kenobi?" the voice called again. The brows scrunched up.  _ What was a Kenobi, or who was Kenobi?  _ She racked her mind.  _ Kenobi, what was a Kenobi. A place? A person _ . Then it came back like a flood of a bad dream. The carbon freeze. The archaeologists.

"Designation Object of Interest One - My name is Obi-Wan Kenobi." She answered eyes clearing. Qui-Gon was on the floor before her, people surrounding him. "No." She reached forward. The Force gathered in her pushing them away from him only to have arms wrap around her from behind.

"It's okay Kenobi, calm down." the same deep voice whispered, holding her back. Wide-eyed she tilted her head back, staring in momentary horror and shock as she met the eyes of the Korun master. Exhaustion passed through her body, and she slumped against the master. Qui-Gon was gone, those were medics taking his body away.

"Kenobi, what happened?" He asked.

"The sith, he was here. We fought him. He separated us... separated me from master Qui-Gon. I tried to get Qui-Gon to wait for me, but he wouldn't. The sith..." She drifted off staring at Qui-Gon.

"It's okay. You did the best you could. You need to let him go now." He whispered to her. She nodded, relaxing against the older man as they sat against the cold durasteel floor.

"How open was the bond, Kenobi?" He asked, looking at her weak state.

"I was trying to keep him present." Her voice was rough.

"How open?"

"All the way. I was gripping it when..."

He sighed. "And the sith?"

Emotion slipped from her face, and the corner of her lip twitched up.

"Dead." she pointed to the melting pit. "I fought him, then I killed him. He fell into the pit. I know I am no longer a Jedi, but Qui-Gon made me promise to train Anakin." She spoke, her voice was once more level and sure. She tilted her head to look at the older man.

"I'll speak with Yoda on the matter." Master Windu offered. Medria nodded, appearing deep in thought as she took her arm back from the Master's shoulder.

"I've respected the old ways of my people, Master, and Qui-Gon encouraged that I continued to respect them. With your permission, I'd like to prepare his funeral through the rites of my people and the Jedi... I believe that is how he would have liked it."

"Of course, do what you need to, to prepare." Master Windu sympathetically patted her shoulder. Obi-Wan bowed stiffly and started to shuffle off. "Kenobi," He called stopping her. "See a healer along the way." She nodded and continued her back remained to him before disappearing down the hall and through the power generator pit. The moment she was away from him the smile dropped, and a blank look replaced it.

A healer was easier to find than anticipated. To her relief, they didn't have much time to deal with her, worried about the seriously injured. They passed her off with a clean bill of health and sent her off. She grabbed her bag from the hanger where they snuck into the palace, and Rabe was there waiting for here. The battle was over, but there was much left to do. However, Obi-Wan was concerned with only one thing at that moment. With a worried look, the handmaiden pointed in the direction of the bathhouse.

* * *

#    
  


He was worried, very worried.

First, it was the force barrier that she had erected. When he arrived, there were at least a dozen security force agents and medics pressed against the shield, trying to get in. He couldn't even tell who was still alive, Qui-Gon or his little padawan.

It took him calling out with the force for her to even respond, but she was out of it. Crystal blue eyes unfocused as she started towards him, calling out someone else's name. Even when he was holding her, she didn't register it was him.

However, it was her smile that terrified him. She tried to hide it with a blank face, but when she told him, she killed the sith she wanted to smile. He could see it clearly, tugging painfully at the corner of her lips and brightening her eyes. A shiver ran up his spine, and a cold heavy feeling settled in his chest. But it was gone as soon as she looked at him again and asked to rejoin the order to train the boy.

He found Yoda meditating in a glass room and sat next to him.

"Worried you are," Yoda stated, his eyes still closed.

"Yes, master... Is it possible that Obi-Wan could be regaining forgotten memories?" Mace asked. Yoda opened his eyes blinking.

"Forgotten memories, hmmm? Say this why do you? No sign before there has been, of memories of a past life." Yoda asked hands folded in front of him.

"She called names of people I've never heard of. Her force signature was disconnected, she was unfocused. There was something about her presence, master…” He paused, not wanting to breach that line. “We never questioned what she may or may not remember when she was found, but she mentioned that Qui-Gon encouraged her to honor the old way of her people. In all regards, we are the only people she should know."

Yoda hummed. It was possible, in fact, they were waiting for years for that situation to arise.

When Mace first joined the council he was made aware of the situation. Object of Interest: One, found in an archaeological site in the countryside of Kenobi on the planet Stewjon. They had no name for her, except that. However, they watched her carefully, observing her as she grew up, happy and ignorant of her past, the entire council waiting for the moment where she would change, shift, for her past to come flooding back to her, yet, it never happened. She was resilient, standing beside a master who resisted the council. It crossed their minds often that perhaps her past was as a jedi, but with lightsabers that couldn’t be activated and strange armor, they couldn’t be certain. 

"An eye, keep on her we should." Yoda nodded. Mace sighed.

"She promised Qui-Gon that she would train the boy..."

"Clouded the boy's future is. Dangerous."

"I don't think we can convince her to come back otherwise. She seems determined to take care of the boy."

The two masters sighed before holoing the rest of the council on Coruscant.

* * *

 

 

It was shortly after meeting Senya, the base on Odessen had been formed and a quiet night led the two of them together. She shamefully explained who Valkorion was to her, and after much discussion, the older woman agreed to mentor her in the formal ways of Zakuul. To her surprise she realized that her beliefs, her gods were the same. 

Somehow the knowledge drifted to funeral rites as the war raged on. Clean your body before the funeral: avoid attending while dirty, even if you only have the chance to wipe your face. The dead deserve your best.

The warm water of the bathhouse was refreshing, comforting her tired and sore body. Dried sweat was wiped from her skin and lightly scented oils rubbed in. The dead deserved your best, Qui-Gon deserved her best.  She took extra care, scrubbing soaps into her hair with her nails pulling away the dust and grime. When it was all done, her wet hair hung down to her waist clinging to her body as she patted her skin dry. She changed into her only spare clothes and combed through her hair, preparing to leave it down for the first time since the funeral of Master Thal. Her silver face stones were in her bag where she kept them for special events. It always made her slightly uncomfortable whenever she put them on, how eerily similar to Vaylin they were. The only saving grace was the fact her stones resembled Senya's, clean cut, small,  and polished round and smooth. She had pressed them to her forehead when Rabe peeked her head inside the room.

"Jedi Kenobi, the Masters are looking for you." Rabe, informed her as she straightened her robes. Obi-Wan thanked her, quickly following her to an empty room where Master Yoda stood. With a deep breath, sealing her walls, Obi-Wan entered and knelt in front of the Grandmaster.

He paced in front of her, causing concern to rise in her chest. She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear as he turned to look at her.

"Confer on you, the level of Jedi Knight the council does. But agree on you taking this boy as your Padawan learner, I do not."

"Master." She started carefully. "At this point, Anakin needs me more than the Jedi do. If I cannot take him as my apprentice, I will take him with me elsewhere. He is my responsibility now."

"The chosen one the boy may be; nevertheless, grave danger I fear in his training."

"I don't care if he is the chosen one, master, I never have. He's a child who needs someone there for him, a force sensitive one at that. As Jedi should we not offer a way to control the Force within him, otherwise, it will eat him alive, then he will be something to be feared."

"Qui-Gon's defiance I sense in you. Need that, you do not." Yoda scowled causing Obi-Wan to smile lightly. "Agree the council does. Your apprentice, young Skywalker will be."

"Thank you." Obi-Wan smiled, bowing to the small master.

She stood slowly and walked towards the door.

"Dangerous he is. Careful you must be in his training." Yoda warned. She stopped in her tracks, her back still to the diminutive master.

"Isn't fear the path to the dark side master Yoda?" She tilted her head as if to look over her shoulder with a smile playing on her lips. "The order seems to surround fear: our attempt to crush it under heel, fight against it, deny it. Yet if fear is the path to the dark can we not all be accused of standing on that path? Anakin will have to prove himself, to the council, to you, to the entire order. He has a greater challenge ahead of him than anyone else before him. Chosen one or not, if he can do that I hope you can give him the respect he is due, instead of fearing him more."

Obi-Wan walked out the door leaving Yoda alone in the room.

…

Her heart clenched when she saw him on the pyre. She gripped the side of the pyre leaning against it as her legs went weak. She tried to steady her satchel of supplies as she leaned forward and pressed her lips against Qui-Gon's cold forehead. 

"You were my favorite Jedi, I'm sorry I couldn't risk turning you." She whispered before stepping back. A few people had trickled in tears already on their cheeks. She sighed. She needed to start now before there were too many people.

"Tyth, God of war and rage." she intoned quietly. "bless this soul, a man of your kind. As his soul left with a weapon in hand, let him find peace at last." She pulled out a smooth cylinder log and slid it between his hands.

"Aivela, Goddess of passion, this man was fearless in battle. Burn away his doubt as he passes onto the afterlife. May he finally be with those he loved." She pulled out a flower and tucked it into his robed over his heart tears welling in her eyes. Tahl was waiting for him, they could finally be together, just as he had hoped. He was always stronger with her.

"Esne Goddess of envy, I am guilty for I envy for one more day. May you find him strong and faithful in your eyes" She took a long strip of fabric and laid it across his eyes to protect them from her gaze. It was then she noticed that more people were walking in for the funeral, including Padme, Anakin, and the new Chancellor.

"Bear a torch for Nahut, and guide him with your light. Lead him home and let him not lead you astray on your path." She wrapped a cord around his wrist. Then she pulled out a small flask of salt water and poured it over his forehead.

"Scyva, Goddess of sorrow, wash away his hate, guide his passage and stand beside him." She stepped back and took the torch nearby.

"Izax, the ultimate devourer, father, ruler, and bringer of death to us all. Another life has been claimed, body destroyed, but memory never forgotten." She lowered the torch and fire engulfed Qui-Gon's body.

She backed up and stood with the rest of the viewers. Anakin pressed up against her, tear-filled eyes blinking up at her. She sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"He's one with the Force now Anakin, we must let him go." She whispered.

"What will happen to me now?"

“I've been given permission to train you. You will be a Jedi, I promise."

Anakin nodded and leaned against her. It was a long service, but Qui-Gon was honored, and that was what she cared about. She wasn't paying attention when she felt Padme's hand on her arm. The young Queen was one of the last people there, only a few of her staff and Anakin remained. She gestured to him quietly, and Obi-Wan realized with mild shock, that the boy had fallen asleep against her at some point, and the queen was offering to take him back. Obi-Wan nodded, and Captain Panaka stepped forward lifting the child up under his armpits and steadied him on his hip. The last group walked away leaving Obi-Wan to stand in the dim light of the pyre.

She made it three steps forward before she fell to her knees crying out. He was gone. Qui-Gon was truly gone.

She pulled out the vibroblade she had tucked away in her robes, and it trembled in her grasp. Her hair was a curtain around her the honey-gold locks shading her face until she gathered the loose strands together in one hand. For some reason, this was always the hardest part for her. With everything gathered except her padawan braid, she cut through the hair in a single movement. Her hair would grow as her grief wanned, but for now, her hair would be short, only long enough to pull it in a small nerftail, like that of a senior padawan. She used the Force to throw the severed hair into Qui-Gon's fire, letting it burn with her sorrow.

Her cries grew until the air filled with her sobs, and the ground beneath her hands cracked. A dark weathered hand gently gripped her shoulder as someone used it to ease themselves down to kneel next to her.

"I hate him" She whispered through her sobs. "I hate him because if I didn't, I would love him. Because if I didn't, it would hurt too much to control." She glanced over her shoulder at the old man next to her. His warm brown eyes stared at her with unwavering sympathy as his mechanic hand found her hand.

"We were together for 13 years. For 13 years I thought about how I wished he were my father. He was always there for me, and I was there for him. We were balanced. I was the light to his darkness and the darkness to his light. But in the end, he didn't care about me. He never did." she broke off crying again, curling up as the old man shifted closer to her, rubbing circles into her back.

"Let your hate and your love fuel you. You're a master now, you need whatever you can get to fuel you on from this point forward." the warmly familiar voice soothed her. She nodded in agreement, that's all she had left now. She yanked on her braid, the last symbol of her padawanship, and severed it at the same length as the rest of her hair and then cut it in half. She tucked on half away to use for her apprentice's braid and sent the other half through the air to burn along with her master.

"Do you think you can train a Jedi apprentice?" He asked.

"I've lived with the Jedi for over 20 years. My first apprentice was a Jedi, and she taught me some of her teachings. I can do this." She looked over her shoulder at the old overseer, his gray hair glowing in the light of the fire.

"I'm counting on you now Tremel. I won't be as available as we had hoped. you must act as my voice and had, carrying out my will."

He bowed deeply, forehead pressed against the cracked stone.

"You can always trust me Medria."

“Can I, though?”

#    
  



End file.
